Thisavrou || [Inbox]

[alformthearm]

"This is Alfor. I'm sorry if I've missed you, but do leave a message and I'll be sure to get right back to you as soon as I can."

Comments

/*CRIES LAUGHING*

[alformthearm]

Well yes, and don't get me wrong, I'm rather thankful that you aren't trying to wrestle her under any sort of circumstances.

Look, she sounds perfectly fine, have you asked her if she would kindly not hold potentially explosive objects so close to her being? Actually- has it been proven that they are in fact bombs? Have you tried to detonate one yet?

But I thoroughly understand your concerns!

I'm the worst

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Noted.

When we found them, the first thing I did was pop the base of one open. That's how I found out that it was filled less with child-like wonderment and more with glycerin and fire. They're wind up and while I could remove it, it's linked directly to the primer and I think removing the early warning sign to a tactical explosion defeats the purpose of the concept of safety.

Also, the fact that they were bombs repulsed her on a level that I didn't think was possible. I'm pretty sure if I asked her to run a test to detonate one, she'd react as if I asked to personally detonate one of her actual pet mice.

The more I talk the more I'm questioning which is more volatile: The actual bombs or your daughter.

[alformthearm]

......

...what if you found another one to prove the point? I...have no doubt that she might be a little...stubborn about the matter, but put into perspective, perhaps she'll see other reason.

[Egads she's just like him.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I can...try? I'm just afraid if I found another one she might try to keep that one too. Did she have stuffed animals and plushies as a child? Because I'm starting to worry that collecting bombs and playing with them might be the signs of a deeper issue.

I mean, some people collect bottle caps. Or stamps. Stamps don't explode.

[STILL IN THE BACKGROUND]

[patchricide]

Darin, what are you doing on the phone, anyway? Who are you talking to? We need to keep moving, before the snowstorm really does pick up!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

An expert in diffusing potential disasters waiting to happen.

[alformthearm]

Darin, when I last left my Allura she was not yet even walking, barely able to sit up on her own. Certainly she was given toys and a Galra ceremonial helmet but otherwise she was too young then for me to make any sort of assumptions!

-what snowstorm? Where are you?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Okay well, does she maybe still have the helmet because she's kind of running around with bombs now and I can't help but think the more armor she has the better?

We're down on Allcoran, she wanted to take me on a quest for...some...ice key? That unlocks bonus content? Look, I'm as confused as you are and I assure you, she was in good hands until she decided that these bombs needed a good home.

[alformthearm]

Perhaps you might come across some sort of obstacle where...explosives might be needed?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Cool. I'll just politely ask her to sacrifice one of her new friends in a ritual of napalm and hellfire. Then, after I pick my brain up and shove it back into my skull after she's done beating it out of me, I'll park my ass right back down at square one again.

Seriously, Your Majesty, your daughter is truly amazing and I care very deeply for her? But at this point, I'd rather take my chances pissing off the bomb.

[alformthearm]

[A sigh.]

Oh, no no- that won't work, and you're absolutely right. She would have to come to the conclusion herself at what must be done, of course. But therein also will depend what she might rule as priority within the given situation.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Okay, that's a very fair point.

Counterpoint: You daughter sees she might have to blow up one of her new friends so she bats her big, blue doe eyes at her bodyguard and makes him figure out an alternative.

I'm not saying that's exactly what's going to happen? But that's exactly what's going to happen because I'm kinda ill-prepared to actually say 'no' to her when she gives me that look.

[alformthearm]

...no, that's completely reasonable a thing to anticipate. Um.

...faint?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

SHE'S CHASING ME NOW!

1/2

[alformthearm]

.....

[alformthearm]

My advice?

Run faster.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

DOES YOUR DAUGHTER COME WITH A TECHNICAL MANUAL ON HOW TO DISARM HER?!

[alformthearm]

...well, for starters I don't think your choice of words has been helping the matter.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

YOU RAISE A GOOD POINT BUT AS A MAN OF SCIENCE CAN YOU REALLY SAY MY CLASSIFICATIONS ARE OFF THE MARK?!

I CAN'T HELP IT, I TEND TO BE BLUNT WHEN I PANIC. IT'S AN INTEGRAL CHARACTER FLAW AND IT JUST MAKES ME SO DAMN CHARMING! I'D SAY TO ASK YOUR DAUGHTER AS PROOF OF THIS BUT, AND I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH, SHE'S CHASING ME WHILE CLUTCHING LIVE BOMBS.

IF I DIE PLEASE LET MY EPITAPH READ "HE THOUGHT SHE WAS DA BOMB AND HE WAS COMPLETELY RIGHT." AND BEFORE YOU ASK, IT'S APPARENTLY EARTH SLANG IT MEANS I THINK SHE'S AMAZING WHEN SHE'S NOT ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL ME.

[STILL IN THE BACKGROUND]

[patchricide]

Wait, did you say 'Your Majesty'?

... are you calling my father about this??

[She's running back over to him.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[And he is now running away. Quickly.]

Look, I needed advice on how to deal with a ticking time bomb!

And also how to deal with exploding mice toys!

[patchricide]

What did you just call me?!

Darin, stop! Get back here!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You realize that you're just confirming my assessment right?!

[HAHAHAHA NOPE BYE]

[patchricide]

Oh yes, I'm perfectly unreasonable for getting mad at someone's who's trying to make me mad!

[NOT FAST ENOUGH DARIN, SHE'S GAINING]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAID I WASN'T TRYING?!

[SPRINT DAMMIT SPRINT]