alformthearm | Thisavrou || [Inbox]

"This is Alfor. I'm sorry if I've missed you, but do leave a message and I'll be sure to get right back to you as soon as I can."

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From:

alformthearm

Yes? Oh, hello Darin.

-toys? ...toy bombs? Wait, I... So they're not toys, and yet they're shaped unusually that one might think they're toys? Or are these just some odd versions of toys as the people of this world seem to have different customs..?

But no, we don't...keep bombs as pets because they aren't alive, for one thing, and rather dangerous- are these mice-bombs alive?

From:

forgeabettertomorrow

No, no they're just run-of-the-mill wind up bombs. They look like toy mice and Allura seems pretty enamored with them and she's kind of clutching them protectively right now as if I'm going to try and wrestle them away. Which, I want to remind everyone within earshot is a phenomenally stupid idea because they are bombs.

Also, I'd like to go on record that I never once tried to bring home a bomb as a pet? But I did explode the washing machine once and I caught royal hell. I feel like this kinda overshadows that because actual bombs.

Oh crap, I think she's mad at me I don't have a contingency plan for her being mad and also carrying four live bombs.

From:

patchricide

Da~rin~! Are you coming?

["I think she's mad at me", huh.]

From:

forgeabettertomorrow

In a mi~nute~!

[He gives her a few nervous laughs as if he were frolicking just behind her.]

Oooooooooh man, I always knew a pretty girl was gonna be the death of me somehow. I just never thought it would be via mouse based explosions.

From:

alformthearm

.....

From:

alformthearm

[He breathes a sigh of relief.]

At least it sounds that she's all right.

Look, if they're not alive then they can't really be pets, now can they? And if they're bombs, then ah...perhaps they can be disarmed? So they won't explode? -why are you letting her clutch bombs, Darin??

From:

forgeabettertomorrow

Look, I can't stress enough that I'm on your side here! I tried telling her that they were armed and could explode but she appears to have named two of them and I think she has a working back story for one of them, and double also I don't think that wrestling your daughter while she's holding four live bombs is very conducive to keeping either of us in one piece!

I can try to disarm them but I don't really have the tools or the facilities to do so, and I don't think bringing live ordinance onto an already derelict space station is a prime example of a good idea! Shiro's ass clenches every time I come home with something sharp, if I bring home four live bombs he might clench so hard he collapses into himself like a neutron star.

Edited Date: 2018-02-10 06:40 am (UTC)

From:

alformthearm

Well yes, and don't get me wrong, I'm rather thankful that you aren't trying to wrestle her under any sort of circumstances.

Look, she sounds perfectly fine, have you asked her if she would kindly not hold potentially explosive objects so close to her being? Actually- has it been proven that they are in fact bombs? Have you tried to detonate one yet?

But I thoroughly understand your concerns!

From:

forgeabettertomorrow

Noted.

When we found them, the first thing I did was pop the base of one open. That's how I found out that it was filled less with child-like wonderment and more with glycerin and fire. They're wind up and while I could remove it, it's linked directly to the primer and I think removing the early warning sign to a tactical explosion defeats the purpose of the concept of safety.

Also, the fact that they were bombs repulsed her on a level that I didn't think was possible. I'm pretty sure if I asked her to run a test to detonate one, she'd react as if I asked to personally detonate one of her actual pet mice.

The more I talk the more I'm questioning which is more volatile: The actual bombs or your daughter.

From:

alformthearm

......

...what if you found another one to prove the point? I...have no doubt that she might be a little...stubborn about the matter, but put into perspective, perhaps she'll see other reason.

[~~Egads she's just like him.~~]

From:

forgeabettertomorrow

I can...try? I'm just afraid if I found another one she might try to keep that one too. Did she have stuffed animals and plushies as a child? Because I'm starting to worry that collecting bombs and playing with them might be the signs of a deeper issue.

I mean, some people collect bottle caps. Or stamps. Stamps don't explode.

From:

patchricide

Darin, what are you doing on the phone, anyway? Who are you talking to? We need to keep moving, before the snowstorm really does pick up!

From:

forgeabettertomorrow

An expert in diffusing potential disasters waiting to happen.

From:

alformthearm

Darin, when I last left my Allura she was not yet even walking, barely able to sit up on her own. Certainly she was given toys and a Galra ceremonial helmet but otherwise she was too young then for me to make any sort of assumptions!

-what snowstorm? Where are you?

From:

forgeabettertomorrow

Okay well, does she maybe still have the helmet because she's kind of running around with bombs now and I can't help but think the more armor she has the better?

We're down on Allcoran, she wanted to take me on a quest for...some...ice key? That unlocks bonus content? Look, I'm as confused as you are and I assure you, she was in good hands until she decided that these bombs needed a good home.

From:

alformthearm

Perhaps you might come across some sort of obstacle where...explosives might be needed?

From:

forgeabettertomorrow

Cool. I'll just politely ask her to sacrifice one of her new friends in a ritual of napalm and hellfire. Then, after I pick my brain up and shove it back into my skull after she's done beating it out of me, I'll park my ass right back down at square one again.

Seriously, Your Majesty, your daughter is truly amazing and I care very deeply for her? But at this point, I'd rather take my chances pissing off the bomb.

Edited Date: 2018-02-10 07:35 am (UTC)

From:

alformthearm

[A sigh.]

Oh, no no- that won't work, and you're absolutely right. She would have to come to the conclusion herself at what must be done, of course. But therein also will depend what she might rule as priority within the given situation.

From:

forgeabettertomorrow

Okay, that's a very fair point.

Counterpoint: You daughter sees she might have to blow up one of her new friends so she bats her big, blue doe eyes at her bodyguard and makes him figure out an alternative.

I'm not saying that's exactly what's going to happen? But that's exactly what's going to happen because I'm kinda ill-prepared to actually say 'no' to her when she gives me that look.